Now that I’ve moved to Bolivia and been here for about ten days, here is some lovely information about my intestinal health that you never asked for!
- Yes, I am making VERY sure I am never more than twenty steps away from a bathroom.
- No, it was NOT the salad I ate the other day. I did the math. I counted the days, and the salad was too early. Thank God, because it was AWESOME and I want it again. Right now. And forever and ever. Amen.
- Yes, It’s my fault. I did this to myself, and should never be allowed near a kitchen again.
- Yes, those chicken patties WERE weird. I mean, there were other things it could be, but that’s my best guess for now. I’ll make sure I rinse my rice in the future, though, too.
- No, I do not have a fever, chills, blood, or any of the other lovely symptoms of a serious case of… well, the information the travel doctor gave me said it should go away by itself in the next few days at most. Maybe as soon as today! Yay!
- No, waking myself up by screaming and scaring the cat in the middle of a seriously weird bad dream was not a symptom. I think. You know that horrible scene from Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Kahn? Well, imagine that, but— Okay, never mind, sorry, that was more horrible than actually talking about poop.
- Oh God the smell though. I can never show my face in public again. THEY’LL KNOW.
- Anyway, it’s unpleasant, but not worth worrying about. This time.
- Yes, the travel doctor did prescribe for me antibiotics in case it becomes worth worrying about. I have them in hand.
- Yes, I will be more careful in the future. I’d thought I was doing pretty well, boiling all my water and stuff. Transferrable skills from my time in Malaysia! Score one for Southeast Asia!
- Yes, I am also boiling the cat’s water. That is a stink I do NOT want to deal with.
- No, I did not have to worry about fresh produce in Asia. This is one of the new, exciting things about South America that I can learn!
- Yes, I am replenishing my electrolytes or whatever. Thank you, Kathy Mills, for teaching me how. Mmmm, salty, sugary water. Boiled, of course.
In conclusion,
Images from Axios.com; Sofiaalpaso.com; Paramount, obviuosly; and Zillow.com